Welcome back to New Man, New Woman, New Week. I’m Ben Newman, and I am fired up to be with you today to talk about relationships, building relationships, and a couple of ideas that I think will make a difference for you in your life.
So many individuals approach a new relationship so anxious to figure out, “What am I going to gain from this relationship? What am I going to get?” And I would encourage everybody out there to embrace the opportunity to listen, to hear somebody’s story, and to build a relationship, a strong relationship, a real relationship.
We’re going to talk about RQ versus EQ, the Relationship Quotient versus the Education Quotient. This all stems from research by John Gunker and the Wilson Learning Institute. It also has a little bit of flavor of research from Al Granham (ph) from CEB, a company that studied 7,000 salespeople to determine what most successful salespeople do and what people do to drive building relationships. There’s also a company called American Funds. Now, it’s a financial firm, but this was blanketed research that was done for really anybody in their walk of life as they build relationships.
RQ versus EQ. What the RQ versus EQ teaches us, and what all this research taught me that I want to share with you so you don’t have to go back and do all this research, is that in the beginning stages of a relationship, don’t worry about what you’re going to sell somebody. Don’t worry about what you’re going to go in and tell somebody. Don’t go in and think, “I’m just going to tell somebody I’m going to change their life,” or “I’m going to identify a way that I’m going to make a difference right now. I’m going to get in there and just share something.” Wait to establish a relationship first.
So, I’m not big on graphs. I love telling stories and getting you to see the visual. So, here’s a little graph for you. Right? In the beginning of a relationship, high RQ, low EQ. High RQ, low EQ. Focus on the relationship quotient. Be excited to hear somebody’s story. Be excited to hear maybe challenges they’ve overcome. It might even help you. It might make a difference in your life.
For all of us, can’t we slow down just a little bit more in this fast-paced world that we live in? Focus on building real relationships, asking tough questions to really understand somebody, and sitting back and listening and understanding what’s important to somebody in their heart. And over time, as you build a relationship, there will be that natural progression where the RQ — it’s not that it goes away, okay. The need for the RQ to be most important will go down, and the need for the EQ will go up, whether that’s after an hour, two hours, three months of knowing somebody.
The door of opportunity will open for you if you’re in sales or if you’re leading other people. The door of opportunity will open when the time is right. And when you have a real, trusted relationship with somebody, they will be open to receiving the education, and you will have a trusted relationship that will lead to your opportunity to be a catalyst in their life. Don’t go trying to jump all over opportunity. Jump all over the opportunity to embrace a new relationship, to embrace a trusted new relationship, which then means you’ll have a long-term friend, a long-term client.
It’s a pretty easy lesson. Yeah, there’s a bunch of research behind RQ versus EQ, but at the end of the day, it’s pretty simple. Drive relationships in your life by focusing on other people and let the natural progression of the relationship take its course.
I get so excited to be with you each and every single week, and I think today’s video is a video that if you shared it with somebody that you know is in sales, they’re in business, they’re part of a team, this video could have a very significant impact on their life.
I love all the messages that are coming in, people liking, people sharing. I love those that join us for those daily belly punches of inspiration @ContinuedFight on Twitter. And I can’t wait to be with you next week for New Man, New Woman, New Week. Until then, go do great things.
Build Strong Relationships! Episode 37, Volume 1